Lindsay Lohan was sentenced to 90 days in jail Tuesday for her failure to attend alcohol education classes after a series of drunk driving charges stemming back to 2007. The media orgiastically detailed every look, word and tear the fallen starlet issued in court, just as it has obsessively covered every other mishap in this young woman's excruciatingly public life.

There are fights with her father, fights with her former girlfriend, fights with current and former boyfriends, fights with former BFFs like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. She dyes her hair. She loses too much weight. Her boobs may or may not be fake. Her lips may or may not be Restalyne-inflated. She gets kicked out of a nightclub, or not let into a nightclub, or falls down coming out of a nightclub, or passes out in the passenger seat of a car after partying at a nightclub.